The new bird feeder is working a treat.
I managed to lure three of these suckers on to the balcony today. I think they are albatrosses of some sort.
I decided to make good use of this windfall.
The breasts are going into a terrine, along with some minced pork, anchovies, nutmeg, port and pepper. The legs make an excellent stock when combined with onions, field mushrooms and port, the corn in the gullets I shall dry and grind into flour with which to make artisanal bread to sell to the hipsters and foodies.
The terrine is in the oven now as I write this.
As I await the outcome I plan dishes made from parakeets and finches and celebrate austerity.
Fuck off Boris.
And you thought this was fake news.
Johnathan Swift and I will be tucking into this, with a healthy dollop of piccalilli and a pint of bitter, once it has cooled.